Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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