It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
