I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How does one acquire holy water?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
