Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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