do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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