I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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