Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
