its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
