i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
