It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
