Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
