I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
