Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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