My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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