We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Two words: blizzard sex
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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