Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
