drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
