Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
