your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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