Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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