I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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