no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
