let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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