And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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