I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
