So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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