smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
