I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
