I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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