at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This house was built for laser tag.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
