i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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