Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
