I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
