Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
