just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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