Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
