Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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