Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Can I color on your dick again?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We're too hungover to prance.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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