let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
