If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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