the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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