Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
