the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
