HIV tests are more positive than that guy
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
