I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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