So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
