You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
