I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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