Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
