Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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