I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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