I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
